I am not a careful athlete. When I play a sport, I put a lot of effort into it, and the result is that I get hurt very often. Ask my friends and they will confirm it. This post is about that habit, what is good about it, what is not, and what I am doing about the second part.
The honest version
There is a way of telling this story that makes it sound heroic. It is not. Getting hurt repeatedly is not a sign of commitment. It is a sign that my effort is running ahead of my preparation, my warm-up or my recovery. Effort is the cheap part. Judgement is the hard part.
What I like about it anyway
Sport gives me something that sitting at a desk cannot: an immediate, physical answer. You either made the play or you did not. You are either fit enough or you are not. There is no ambiguity and no argument. After a day of work that is full of unclear feedback, I find that deeply restful.
I also like how it makes me pay attention. For the length of a game I am not thinking about anything else.
The strength side
Alongside sport I keep an eye on a few numbers, mostly because numbers are how I make sense of things. Right now I can do 50 push-ups and deadlift 100 lb. Neither number is impressive by serious lifting standards, and I like that, because it means there is somewhere to go.
Here is how I try to think about them:
- Measure, then change one thing. If I write down what I did, I can tell whether a change helped. If I do not, I am guessing.
- Small steps beat big jumps. Adding a little at a time is boring and it works. Adding a lot at once is how I end up hurt, which I have tested more than once.
- Form first. A heavy lift done badly is not a better lift. It is a future injury.
Where engineering and injury meet
I notice the same lesson in my code. The projects I am proudest of have limits built in: bounded loops, validated inputs, tests that fail loudly. GraphSentinel, for example, is designed so that an overeager agent cannot do damage, because it only has a short, bounded list of things it is allowed to do.
My body could use the same design. Bounded effort, a warm-up, rest days and a way to notice early that something is off. I am good at going all in. I am still learning to build in the guardrails.
What I am changing
- Warming up properly, every time, even when I am late.
- Treating a small niggle as information, not as something to push through.
- Taking recovery as seriously as training.
I will report back on how well that goes. Based on my record, you may want to wait for the next injury before taking this as final.